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When I close my eyes

You haunt my oblivion;

Your non-residence in my life –

A nightmare to live by.

How our galaxies collided,

I’m dumbfounded.

Yet I melt each passing day

With acidic tears.

Sad to say,

I’m down in the river

but unable to drown.

 

 

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TRY NOT TO CRY

Try not to cry
for they are born
with no hope but pain;
to make you and I
a complete nation.
Crying their way into the world;
Tears which brings joy to some.

To a few,
these little cries
are the beginning of
rejection and shame.
For they are conceived in abomination
But they in themselves
are not abominable.
Not before the Creator
but before those
who could not
create a life
or zip their pants.

Try not to cry
when I describe
these horrific events;
When I tell you
this cruel fate
is being decided
right now
on a bed
so defiled with fornication.

Try not to cry
when they are rejected
and denied by their fathers
or when their mommas
make that fatal decision.

In ferocious finality, they rant
“why bring a life
you can’t keep?”
But try not to cry
when I tell you
The untold sins
committed by them.

Try not to cry
when I say
those snuffed out little lives were eager to see this wicked world.

Try not to cry
when I tell you
they were flushed away
with putrid pills
or uprooted
with formidable forceps.

Try not to cry
as their bloody remains are abandoned on a pan
and packaged
in a polythene bag.

Try not to cry
as they scream
“It’s too cold out here”
or “I promise to be a good child,
just let me exist”
Amidst poking and pulling
From their embryonic warmth.

Try not to cry
when you find them,
covered in blood;
blood which ought
to have protected them.

Try not to cry
but tell the young ones
to zip up.
Tell them
not to eat the food
meant for elders.

Tell them
to reconsider pain
before pleasure.
Sing the consequences to them.
Teach them the dance steps of abstinence and protection.

Above all,
try not to cry
for I tell you
these little ones
rest in the garden of rebirth
awaiting the right arms
to be born again into.
But ye who have committed this grave transgression-
What shall be your plough?

Blooms

Pleasures grow in my garden
in forever sprouts.
Where my feet may fall,
you shall find little blooms
that adds spark to your soul.
Everything single little thing
is useful to me.
I find joy
in the most meaningless things
For joy is in my bosom
and therein shall it
dwell and swell
forever
even as my smiles
dazzle you.

I want to be a sunflower
with soothing scent
to be spent on you.
To bathe you with freshness
that finds you lost
in my tend.
and whole in my arms.

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SLEEP LITTLE BABY, SLEEP

Mother-and-Stillborn-701x468

Sleep Little Baby, Sleep.

Your arrival was much anticipated
For nine months you cradled in sleep
Inside the belly.
You came into the world
Fragile and fresh
Breathing and crying.
The joy mother felt was unspeakable
And then you stopped crying
Doctors surrounded you
Checking pulse, slapping you
Mama’s heart was afraid,
So sore afraid
In pains she stretched her arms,
She tried to stand up
Nurses restrained her
She cried, she silently begged
She prayed to a man she never spoke to
She made a promise to serve Him faithfully
Only if he could spare you.
She did. She cried, held her head in her arms.
She looked up at doctors, watching them shake
Their head, walking towards her.
No she didn’t want to hear it.
You were too beautiful and little.
Her little bundle only breathed for minutes
And grew wings to fly away
To the world beyond.
Who gave you wings?
When mama had not held you?
Why close those lips?
When mama had not breastfed them
You lay there, real and cold
A living nightmare to mother,
Her heart utterly collapsed in despair.
Baby clothes, never worn.
Baby cradle empty to rock.
Baby seat mocks mother in the car.
She prepared for nine hard months
Of pain, fear, worry, panic
To meet you.
But you slipped away
Into the Saviour’s grace.
Rest well, Baby.
Mama would join you someday.
Maybe then you would be
An Angel Adult.
Sleep.
Sleep now.

THE UNFORGIVABLE VOYAGE

Tears trickled through my face
As our vessel threshed the deep.
Seagulls flapped their wings on
The beach as I watched them
Disappear before my sight.
I wished to belong to their
Colony if that meant staying back.

The shores of a place once to me
Known as home was about in a
Day to be forever foreign.
I followed the winds and stole
Stares of the sunset skies.

Salt water was unforgiving
As I retched in retribution.
Surrounded by aqua, the smell
Of sea never went down with me.
The sea spread out before me and
Seemed unending in its vastness.

We could have been on the sea
Forever as darkness prevailed,
Thickening the clouds above.
I looked up to find the stars and
Moonlight missing, as thunderclaps
And lightning bolts streaked across
The nautical skies.

The twin waves weaved its way,
Riding our vessel up and down.
The boatswain seemed bewildered,
Backing orders at the crew who
Scurried about with buckets to
Scoop water which had seeped
Its way inside.

All a little me could imagine was
Poseidon holding on to his trident
And commanding the forces of the
Sea to rock our ship to a frenzy.
The turbulence was brutal and
Unforgiving, anger in the form of water
Slapped hard on our faces, almost
Leaving us blind.

Salt water ragged my breathing
And when all else seemed to have
Failed, the storm slept still, leaving
Us with mixed feeling of joy and
Trepidation of drowning.
To save us from this newest menace,
My fragile hands found a bucket just
About my size as I joined to scoop
Out water. Suddenly, the sails stopped
Sailing the winds as our ship was dead
In Water. The rudder stopped almost
Immediately, skyrocketing our fears.

While we waited to regain the winds,
I dealt with my fears by filling my head
With the thought of grandma back home;
Her loving arms and my warm bed.
My heart ached all the more.
I just want this voyage to come to
And end. Let this all be a dream, I said
Silently whilst staring at reality.

©Whyte Queen
IG: @poetic_poesy

I TELL A STORY; YET I LIVE

Once glorious wings
of love and support;
Broke and bled,

Eyes flooded, broken-child1

heart wrenched.
Tears turned to cold water,
Sucked the warmth off me gradually.
Limbs livid, I gasped for air.
Held on to slippery rocks,
Splashed back into the unforgiving
sea of pain, I failed to forgive myself
This time – or him – or them.
I lost my crown to this,
My self worth, pride;
I lost every entirety of my being.
Fighting off the waves,
Tumbling in the sea.
Tired of struggling and fighting,
I accepted this fate whilst
encircling myself in my
Own trepidation but yet I live.

Meme

The keys are blurred
My mind is a mess.
Sadness steals in.
Pains gnaw at me.
Regrets sink deeper.
My voice of reasoning lost.
There’s a sear in my heart.
A huge hole, letting the winds
Destroy my fragility.
Hold on to me.
How dare you?
Hold on, I repeat.
Keep me from falling
Into desolation.
Protect my head
From hitting the ground
Hard.